


How To Fill a Void

by Parrillawow



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 23:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15651195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parrillawow/pseuds/Parrillawow
Summary: Robin left for New York 5 months ago, Regina can't cope.





	How To Fill a Void

**Author's Note:**

> TW: selfharm, suicide attempt
> 
> This is very dark and may be triggering to some of you please be aware of that! 
> 
> Prompts used: 7, 10, 19
> 
> All faults are mine until my beta went through it because I wrote this story 2 hours ago so hehe thanks procrastination. 
> 
> Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine they are owned by Once Upon a Time only the storyline is mine, don't sue me please x

Robin has been gone for 5 months now. He’s in New York with Marian and little Roland. Regina is here all alone, yes she has her son Henry and the insufferable Charmings, but it’s not the same.

Regina has a dark secret something that she has been keeping from everyone successfully over the past 5 months. Feeling so empty and lonely she just wanted to feel something so the first time she did it, it was just to check if she was even alive.

Regina doesn’t feel alive, in fact she doesn’t feel anything. She hasn’t taken her heart out, in fact its beating more furiously than it ever has in this very moment.

She is sitting on the edge of the bathtub. Looking at herself in the mirror, or what’s left of it. Her cheeks are hollow, her cheekbones protruding, her hair dull and not full of life any longer. Her eyes don’t shine anymore, not like they did with _him._  

Robin is a forbidden topic of speech whenever Regina is around, the first time he was brought up she started screaming and yelling to not ever bring him up again.

The second time she roasted Mary Margaret’s kitchen to a crisp. For a split second the Evil Queen had taken over her body and when she looked her family in the eyes all she saw was love and understanding. It broke her again, falling to the floor clutching her heart that it hurt, pleadingly screaming to “Please make the pain stop, I can’t take it any longer.”

Henry visits from time to time, knowing his mom needs more time to adjust to Robin and Roland being gone from their life. One night he came home very late and his mother was already asleep on the couch holding onto one of Robin’s jackets with a tear streaked face. It broke his heart, but he knows there is nothing he can do except be there for her and show her he is not going anywhere.

He has noticed his mother is getting thinner by the minute, he hasn’t seen her eat in the past 5 months and it’s hurting Henry to see his mother in so much pain. He wants to take her pain away but he doesn’t know how. So he did the unexpected and phoned up Robin 2 days ago.

_“Please Robin you need to come back, mom isn’t eating nor taking care of herself. I’m scared, Robin. I’m scared to even blink because I’m afraid she will have just disappeared in the blink of an eye.” Henry bursts out a sob trying to continue his pleading._

_“I know you are in New York, but this is my mom, Robin. I know you love her. You need to come back before something serious happens. We found a way to bring you back. Mal and I searched the past 5 months and we’ve found it. Please say you’ll come back. I don’t want to lose her, I can’t lose my mom, because she is **everything** to me.” He pleads._

_“I’m on my way, Henry hold on. I’ll be there at 6PM in two days.” Robin whispers._

 

 5:40PM 

Now she is sitting on the edge of the bathtub holding her biggest comfort and biggest enemy. Henry doesn’t love her anymore, everyone looks at her with pity. The love of her life is gone. The little boy she loved as her own has left with his father and she is left with nothing but a gaping heart. So what is the point anymore?

Regina looks at the object she is holding and looks at her legs and arms and the scars it has made the past 5 months. She shudders out a breath. It’s time. She has wasted enough of everyone’s time. Her only friend is the little razorblade she is holding. It was her only company these past months. Luckily it’s winter now, no one asks her why she is wearing long sleeves and knee length skirts. 

Regina is addicted to using the razor. The feeling of using it on her skin, the numbness in her body and heart temporarily making place for the tingling pain that takes over. Her mind stops racing and overthinking for a little while. All that matters is looking at the blood and the proof that she is indeed still alive. No more numbness for the next 20 minutes. 

Lately that occasional rush isn’t enough anymore. She needs more. She is so tired all she wants is her mind to shut up and the empty feeling to go way.

The brunette has found the only way to stop her brain, is to permanently stop it. Tonight is the night she will finally find some rest.

Regina looks at the pill bottles she has purchased the past 5 months but never used in order to save them up for this night. 

She takes a deep breath and uses the razor for the last time.

 

5:50PM

Henry knocks on the door. It’s been a while since he has been in his mother’s house. They usually meet up for lunch or dinner at Granny’s. There is no answer, weird. He sees his mother’s Mercedes in the driveway so he knows she is home.

Robin is coming in 10 minutes and he wants to be home before Robin arrives so he can open the door and surprise his mother with her soulmate. They are finally going to be reunited after 5 long months of being separated.

Not that he is gloating or anything, but he is responsible for this reuniting.

Henry grins to himself when he thinks of the praise he is going to get when the rush of seeing each other has passed, he can’t wait to tell Mal that their plan succeeded.

He shakes himself back to present and something isn’t right, why hasn’t his mother opened the door yet? What is going on? 

He uses his spare key, opens the door and it eerily silent. The house is a mess, bottles of wine everywhere, either smashed on the wall or empty next to her wine glasses. He spots the occasional whiskey bottle as well, for when the wine wasn’t strong enough he assumes.

This is why she didn’t want him to come by the house, the house was a mess and if he would’ve known he would’ve acted sooner and called Robin earlier.

Usually his mom would be in the kitchen cooking a healthy freshly made dinner. Now all you can smell is the stench of alcohol and a kitchen island that is filled with empty bottles of whatever alcohol his mother could get her hands on.

Henry looks around in the living room, he looks around in the study and finally muses she must be taking a nap. He never knew his mom to take a nap, but then again he didn’t expect his mom to turn into a full blown alcoholic either and a wine bottle hoarder.

He goes up the stairs and listens if he can hear anything, the faintest noise to hear where his mom is. He walks into his room, then her room and the guestrooms, but Regina is nowhere to be found.

Henry walks into his mom’s bedroom again and looks in her walk-in closet, still no luck. He looks at his watch. It’s 5:58PM, Robin is going to arrive in 2 minutes and he can’t even find his mom. 

The bathroom is his last option and when he knocks on the door there is no answer. He puts his ear to the door and how weird, he can’t hear a thing in the bathroom. He tries to open the door, but it’s locked.

Henry pulls the handle and tries to shake it, no it’s definitely locked.

“Mom, are you there?” Henry asks quietly to not scare his mother.

Again, no answer. Henry is starting to panic and bangs on the door with his fists screaming for his mother to open the door and asking what is going on? 

The doorbell rings.

Henry runs downstairs takes 3 steps at a time and swings the front door open, immediately pulling Robin in.

“The bathroom door is locked, she never locks it. She doesn’t react to me screaming and banging on the door, Robin. Something is wrong, help me please.” Henry screams frantically all the while pulling Robin up the stairs.

Robin is shocked, the state of the house has his heart pounding in his ears. Something is very wrong, he can feel it in the core of his soul. Whatever is behind that door isn’t good and he does not want Henry to see it. Finally gaining control over his body, Robin stops the teenager.

“Henry, you go back downstairs call Emma and the ambulance, we don’t know what is behind this door but I don’t want you to see it either. Stay downstairs until I or you mother instructs you otherwise. Go Henry, now!” He tells the teenager.

Henry seems apprehensive of going downstairs but seeing the urgency in Robin’s eyes he complies and calls 911 and his mom.

Robin has no time to lose, he bangs on the door, with no reply. He turns to harder measures. Robin slams on the door with his shoulder trying to burst it open. All his mind is saying is that he needs to open this door, before, it’s too late.

He slams again and the door swings open, the sight before him has his eyes watering and his knees buckling. His sweet Regina is laying on the floor with cuts all over her body and bottles of pills all around her.

He runs to her falls to his knees and looks for a pulse. It’s there, faint, but he can feel it.

Her lashes flutter and when she opens her eyes, she smiles faintly at him.

“Is this heaven?” she whispers when she reaches out to touch his face.

“No, my darling, you are still very much alive. You need to stay awake for me okay, my love? Help is on its way. You’re going to be fine, please hold on.” He sobs while he strokes her hair and familiarizes himself with her face. 

“If I’m alive, how are you here. Why did you come back?” she whispers, unbelieving that her soulmate is right here, holding her. 

“Because I love you, Regina. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. If I had known it would hurt you this much I never would’ve left.” Robin whispers while the tears keep streaming down his face. 

“It’s okay, my thief. You didn’t know and I thought you were happy.” 

“There wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think of you or longed for you, milady.” He tells her while he softly kisses her forehead. 

“I love you, Robin. Take care of our children for me please.”

Regina’s eyes are fluttering close. She can’t keep them open, no matter how hard she tries. 

Robin can hear the ambulances in the distance. He just got his soulmate back, there is no chance he is going to lose her again. 

With tears blurring his sight, he continues to perform CPR until the ambulance, burst through the door, taking over what Robin started and wrapping her in a blanket and taking her to the vehicle.

Robin jumps without thinking in the back of the ambulance holding his soulmates hand while the paramedics do everything to keep the love of his life alive.

Once arrived they roll her straight into a room where Robin isn’t allowed. He spends the next hour pacing the floor. The Charmings and Henry have arrived as well and there is a gloomy mood in the waiting room. 

Regina, friend, mother, lover of the people in the room tried to take her own life tonight. What if Robin didn’t decide to come back tonight what would’ve happened if no one visited her tonight?

Deep in thoughts he barely notices Whale walking back into the room.

“She’s stable. We needed to empty her stomach and disinfect her cuts. She will live but I do suggest that someone stays with her until she gets better.”

Robin immediately sits up and volunteers that he is going to be staying and he is going to take care of her. 

“Can I see her first, alone?” Robin turns around to the other people looking for consent.

They all nod their heads and Robin is lead to her room.

Robin enters the room and the tears well up once again as soon as he sees his soulmate laying there, with a few monitors connected to her and bandages on her arms.

He scoots closer and pulls a chair right next to her.

He looks at her face and he could swear she already looks better than when he saw her last night.

Robin for the first time in hours smiles at the sight of her. Yes, she is bruised but she is still Regina, his Regina. An amazing woman, friend, mother and lover.

He knows then that they will make it, they will get through this together.

He feels the little box in his pocket and remembers what he exactly has planned to do tonight. They have wasted enough time already and he is sure that she indeed his future.

Remembering the ring and now looking at her hand, he can see how well the ring will fit her personality. He grins, because as soon as she wakes up, he’s going to propose to her and make her his wife.

Kissing her forehead, Regina starts to stir and Robin hurriedly gets down on one knee.

Regina opens her eyes, looks around disoriented and smiles when she sees her soulmate looking at her, but why is he on his knee? What is going on?

Waking up a little more Regina takes in the full picture as soon as she spots the ring, she gasps, tears welling up in her eyes she looks at him and all Robin says is.

“Regina, will you marry me?”


End file.
